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wpw syndrom patients need happiness Today's Jokes for you to enjoy.

http://spermup.blogspot.com/Today's Jokes for you to enjoy.

1. According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey,abbreviated, "Wash. Biol. Surv." until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper: "Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible."

2. When Joe's wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist.Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, "Life isn't worth living. I think I'm gonna top myself.""Don't be stupid, Joe," said the psychiatrist. "My wife ran off and left me too, yet I'm happy.""How?" asked Joe."Easy," replied the quack. "I threw myself into my work. I totally submerged myself in my job and soon forgot her. By the way, Joe, what work do you do?""I clean out septic tanks." Joe replied.

3. A man calls his wife and says to her, "Honey, I just got the chance of a lifetime to go on a week-long fishing trip with my boss. Could you packup my things so that they will be ready when I get home?" "Sure, honey," his wife answers."Oh, and could you please pack my blue silk pyjamas?" "Sure,honey," his wife answers again. The man comes home, picks up his things and takes off for the week. He returns a week later, smiling. His wife greets him at the front door. "So honey, how was your fishing trip?""It was great." the husband answers. "But you forgot to pack my blue silk pyjamas." "No I didn't," said his wife. "They were in your tacklebox."

4. A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan.They open the casket and find that the woman is actually still alive. She lives for ten more years and then dies.A ceremony is again held at the same church and at the end of the ceremony, the pall bearers are again carrying outthe casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "WATCH OUT FOR THAT WALL!"


5. Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the head lights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, Iget undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bedand she'salways sound asleep...or well pretending to be."

6. A woman got a problem with her closet door - it was falling every time a bus was passing by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls out every time when a bus passes by. "OK, I am gonna see what is going on, just close the door behind me" and he steps into the closet. At that time the husband comes from work, opens the closet and finds the repairman. Husband: "What in the world are you doing here!"Repairman:"Well, you are not going to believe it, but I am waiting for a bus!

7. Two story houseA man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce.The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says,"Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce.""Because," the man says,"I live in a two-story house."The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two-story house?"The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is 'I have a headache' and the other story is 'It's that time of the month.'

8. A couple was having some trouble, so they did the rightthing and went to a marriage counselor. After a few visits,and a lot of questioning and listening, the counselor saidthat he had discovered the main problem. He stood up, went over to the woman, asked her to stand,and gave her a hug. He looked at the man and said, "thisis what your wife needs, at least once a day!" The man frowned, thought for a moment, then said, "Ok, whattime do you want me to bring her back tomorrow?"

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